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Modern Warfare 2 Finale: War? What is it good for? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

My final session of Modern Warfare 2 story mode was quite short.  It continues the same wannabe movie style of the rest of the story mode, and it sucks about as much. The game has some good FPS mechanics, but they are simply not in play in the story mode, and the ending is perhaps the most extreme departure. I’m come back to the game to check out the special ops stuff, but I’m done for now.

I get through my last fight and head into a tunnel after Shepherd. There’s a break here and I get a  satellite transmission of Price giving more dumb trying to be profound talk. I get on boat for a chase after Shepherd. The chase is very inspired (or perhaps “inspired”) by Half-Life 2 and thus not unfun, but there’s all this crap about staying out of the open to avoid helicopters and enemies, which is just a little ridiculous when I’m on THE FUCKING OPEN WATER.  There’s also all this stuff about how we have to deal with enemy boats, but I don’t do anything special to avoid the enemies or to attack them and of course it makes no difference to the progression of the plot. We chase for a while, and when Shepherd’s boat goes into a helicopter, my NPC shoots down the heli. As we hit the heli, we head towards a waterfall, and wouldn’t you know it, we go over the waterfall despite everything I try to do to stop it. Oh agency, how I miss you.

We fade out and come back on a weird scene where I’m tracking Shepherd while in a daze. I’m stumbling around and I have very little control other than walking and stabbing people.  I kill a couple of incidental guys then see Shepherd stumbling himself. I come up to attack him, and guess what? He’s fine and stabs me instead, and there’s nothing I can do about it!  FUCK YOU MW2.

I black out and  come back up to see Shepherd and my NPC fighting.  I get a chance to crawl towards a dropped gun with LT and RT, but of course he kicks it away when I get there — again nothing I can do about it. More of the two NPCs fighting, and I’m actually starting to wonder if I AM GOING TO WATCH THE NPC BEAT THE BAD GUY?!? There’s a little Indigo Prophesy bit where I hit x to take the knife out of me, and then I throw knife in Shepherd’s face and kill him. I’m fading to black, but then Price (my NPC) gets up. We fade to black and come back.  Price gets me to the heli, and thank all that is holy, that’s the end. The credits roll with a scene of this weird museum like exhibit where the characters from game are standing in natural history like display, move briefly, and then go back to their poses. No idea what this is. Makes no sense at all, but then what does in this game? I’m just happy it’s over.

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